Every parent hopes their child will enjoy school. But for some families, especially those with neurodivergent children, school doesn’t just fall short—it becomes the source of trauma.
We’ve heard from so many parents through AskEllie whose children have been placed in specialist settings that simply don’t work. Their child never settles. They never manage to attend. And after months—or even years—of trying, pleading, and waiting for change, the only thing left is the one thing the system resists the most: Education Otherwise Than In School (EOTIS).
What is EOTIS?
EOTIS is a legal route where a child is educated outside of a school setting—usually at home, with support in place from the local authority. It’s not the same as elective home education. It’s provision named in the EHCP, backed by professionals, because it’s the only way the child can access learning without further harm.
When School Is No Longer Safe
Parents often arrive at this point after years of failed placements, escalating anxiety, and trauma responses that make any kind of attendance impossible. Some children have told schools outright: “I can’t go.” Others become ill every morning. Some lash out. Some go silent. Some shut down entirely.
And too often, the response from schools or local authorities is: “He can come in. We just need you to make him.”
We’ve seen it countless times—parents being told their child’s provision won’t be delivered unless they physically get them into school. One parent shared that the school said the EHCP only “activates” if the child walks through the school gates. When they asked how to get their traumatised 8-year-old in, the answer was: “Just make him.”
That’s not education. That’s coercion.
Why It Matters to Get It Right
When a child is struggling to attend school due to anxiety, trauma, sensory issues or fear, forcing them in can backfire badly. It can destroy trust not only in the setting—but in learning itself.
Instead, what these children need is a setting that meets them where they are, builds trust, and slowly re-engages them in education. That’s what EOTIS can offer—if the local authority is willing to listen.
What the Law Says
If an EHCP names a setting your child cannot attend, and you have professional evidence supporting EOTIS (like an Educational Psychologist or psychotherapist), the local authority has a legal duty to ensure the provision in Section F is delivered—whether in school or not.
They cannot legally withhold provision just because your child isn’t physically present at school. Section 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014 is clear: the LA must secure the provision in the EHCP.
What Parents Can Do
- Gather evidence: If professionals recommend EOTIS, get it in writing.
- Put everything in writing: Ask the school and LA how they plan to deliver provision if your child cannot attend.
- Consider appealing: If the EHCP names a setting that’s unsuitable in practice, you can appeal to Tribunal for a change of placement or an EOTIS package.
- Document the harm: If your child’s mental health is suffering due to school pressure, keep a clear record. This matters.
At AskEllie, we’ve been deeply moved by the stories families have shared. Stories of children who want to learn but simply cannot cope in the settings they’ve been placed in. Stories of exhausted parents being made to feel like failures for protecting their kids.
It’s time to stop asking “Why won’t they go to school?”
And start asking: “What has school done to them?”
If this is your story, or close to it, we hear you.
You can get help, templates, and guidance at AskEllie.co.uk — come by and see us.
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