If you’ve ever typed into a SEND support group at 2AM, overwhelmed, exhausted, and desperate for answers—you’re not alone.
Thousands of parents across the UK are asking the same questions every day. At AskEllie, we’ve seen them all—and we’re here to give you clear, straight answers.
Here are the most common questions asked by parents in Facebook groups:
1. Do I need a diagnosis to get an EHCP?
No.
An EHCP is based on needs, not labels. A diagnosis can help clarify things, but it’s not required. What matters is the evidence showing what your child struggles with and what support they need.
2. Can the school refuse to apply for an EHCP?
They can, but you don’t have to wait.
You can apply directly as a parent to the local authority. You don’t need the school’s permission or support to do this.
3. Is it worth going private for a diagnosis or report?
It depends. A well-written private report from a trusted professional can help—but it doesn’t guarantee anything. What matters most is that it clearly describes the child’s needs and recommends specific provision.
4. My child can’t cope with school anymore—what can I do?
If your child is emotionally or mentally unfit to attend, the school and LA must provide alternative provision. You can ask for Education Otherwise Than In School (EOTIS) if they can’t access school safely.
5. What is Alternative Provision (AP) and why is my child being sent there?
AP is education provided outside of mainstream, often for children struggling to manage in a regular setting. It must still meet their EHCP needs, and shouldn’t be used as a dumping ground.
6. Should I send my child to a school just to “prove it doesn’t work”?
No.
If a setting is clearly unsuitable or unsafe, you do not need to send your child in to prove harm. Instead, focus on gathering professional evidence and requesting a review or appeal.
7. We’re going to Tribunal—what do I need to prepare?
You’ll need:
- Evidence of needs (from reports, observations, etc.)
- Examples of what hasn’t worked
- A clear ask: what you want changed in the EHCP
We’ve got a full guide to help at AskEllie.co.uk.
8. When do I go to the Ombudsman?
If your LA is ignoring legal deadlines, delaying support, or refusing to act—and you’ve tried the complaints process—it’s time to escalate. The Ombudsman can investigate and even award compensation.
9. How do I manage my child’s meltdowns and still protect the rest of the family?
It’s tough. There’s no perfect answer—but calm routines, low-demand environments, sibling support, and knowing you’re not alone can make all the difference. There’s a full post about this on our blog.
10. What if no one came to my child’s birthday party?
Then we cry with you. And remind you: this isn’t about your child being unlovable. It’s about a system—and a society—that still hasn’t learned how to embrace difference. You’re not alone, and neither is your child.
These are just a few of the most common questions asked by thousands of parents every day. At AskEllie, we’ve built a tool to make sure those questions aren’t just answered—but acted on.
Come by AskEllie.co.uk—for legal support, emotional backup, and the knowledge that you are not in this alone.
You’re asking the right questions. We’re here to help you find the right answers.
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