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In recent weeks, the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has announced major reforms that will change the face of the UK’s welfare system as we know it. While the government claims these changes aim to simplify access to benefits and encourage employment, many families, particularly those caring for disabled children and adults, are left fearing what the future holds.

What’s Changing?

1. Scrapping of the Work Capability Assessment (WCA): The WCA is currently used to assess whether someone is too ill or disabled to work. The government plans to scrap this entirely and instead rely more heavily on Personal Independence Payment (PIP) as a marker for disability support. The concern? PIP is already notoriously hard to qualify for, and new proposals suggest the criteria may get even tougher.

2. Stricter Eligibility for PIP: According to government data, 370,000 current PIP claimants could lose their entitlement, with another 430,000 potentially denied future support under tightened rules. That could mean an average loss of £4,500 per year per family. For those already stretched thin by the rising cost of living, this is devastating.

3. Changes to Universal Credit: The standard Universal Credit allowance is set to increase incrementally over the next five years, with some above-inflation rises. But for families losing access to disability benefits, these increases may not go far enough.

4. Real-Time Benefits Reporting for Employers: From April 2026, employers will need to report benefits-in-kind (like company cars or medical cover) in real-time through payroll. This might simplify things for businesses, but offers little relief or clarity for struggling families.

What Does This Mean for Disabled Families?

These reforms have sent a clear message: disability support is under review, and the net is tightening. For parents already navigating the chaos of SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities) systems, delayed EHCPs, underfunded schools, and long CAMHS waiting lists, the welfare system was often a final lifeline. Now even that is uncertain.

Families caring for children with complex needs are often unable to work full-time or at all due to their responsibilities. The DWP’s shift towards a more employment-focused model appears to overlook the reality of what it takes to care for a high-needs child 24/7.

So, What Can You Do?

1. Stay Informed: Follow trusted advocacy groups like AskEllie.co.uk, Disability Rights UK, and Scope for updates and guidance.
2. Speak Up: The government is still in a consultation phase for some of these proposals. Now is the time to write to your MP, respond to public consultations, and share your story.
3. Seek Support: If you’re worried about changes to your benefits, organisations like Citizens Advice and local welfare rights groups can help you understand your rights and options.
4. Join the Movement: At AskEllie, we’re gathering voices from across the UK to bring real stories to Parliament. If you’re affected by these reforms, submit your experience through our website. Your voice matters more than ever.

Final Thoughts

Our grandparents fought after WWII for a welfare system that protected the vulnerable and gave families a safety net. We must now ask: are we watching those protections unravel?

Families with disabled children are not asking for luxuries. We’re asking for fairness, dignity, and the ability to give our children the care they need without falling into poverty. If these reforms go ahead unchecked, that future is at risk.

The time to act is now.

Visit www.askellie.co.uk to learn more and get involved.

What is Masking in PDA? Masking is when a child hides or suppresses their difficulties in order to fit in, avoid conflict, or stay out of trouble. In children with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), masking is especially common – often driven by extreme anxiety or fear of losing control.

A child with PDA may appear calm, quiet, or compliant in school, while melting down at home due to the effort of holding it all together. This can lead professionals to underestimate the child’s needs and wrongly assume they’re coping.

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Why Schools Often Miss It Because masking children “look fine” during the school day, their difficulties are often dismissed. Schools may say:

• “They’re fine here”
• “We don’t see any problems”
• “Their behaviour doesn’t warrant extra support”

But parents know the truth: masking can cause enormous distress, delayed outbursts, emotional shutdowns, or total exhaustion at home. Over time, masking can even lead to burnout and school refusal.

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Legal Responsibilities of the School & Local Authority Under the Children and Families Act 2014 and the SEND Code of Practice, both the school and local authority have a duty to:

• Recognise unseen and hidden needs, including those that only show outside of school hours.
• Consider parental evidence and home-based behaviours when assessing SEN.
• Provide support based on a child’s underlying needs, not just outward behaviour in school.

A school cannot legally deny support simply because a child is masking well during lessons.

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What Can You Do as a Parent?

1. Document everything – keep a record of your child’s home behaviours, meltdowns, shutdowns, refusals, and emotional exhaustion.
2. Request an EHCP Needs Assessment if the school isn’t recognising the level of need. Include evidence of how masking affects your child outside school.
3. Challenge dismissive language like “they’re fine here.” Ask: “What assessments have been done to fully understand how they cope after the school day?”
4. AskEllie – use www.askellie.co.uk to help draft letters, prepare EHCP requests, or respond to school and LA decisions. It’s free and based on current UK law.

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Final Thought Masking is not a sign that your child is coping. It’s a sign they are surviving. And surviving is not enough.

The law is clear: support must be based on need, not appearance. If your child is struggling behind closed doors, you have every right to demand that schools and local authorities look closer – and act.

At AskEllie, we’re passionate about using AI to make a real difference in the lives of families navigating the challenges of neurodiversity, special educational needs, and mental health. But with AI becoming more powerful and widespread, it’s natural for people to ask important questions: Can AI be used ethically? Can it really help with something as sensitive as mental health?

We believe the answer is yes — if it’s done right.

The Problem

Accessing mental health support is harder than ever. Long waiting lists, overwhelmed services, and underfunded systems mean that too many families are left struggling alone. For parents of autistic or PDA children, this can be especially difficult. The emotional toll, the paperwork, the burnout — it can feel endless.

How AI Can Help

AI isn’t a replacement for therapists or real human connection. But it can help in meaningful and ethical ways:

• Listening and Understanding: AI can provide instant support 24/7. Sometimes, just being heard makes a difference. AskEllie lets users talk through their situation and get guidance based on facts, not opinions.
• Empowering, Not Replacing: Ethical AI supports human decision-making. Our tool gives parents the knowledge and confidence to ask the right questions, access support, and challenge injustice — without taking away their voice.
• Reducing Bureaucracy Burnout: AI can sift through legal processes, offer draft responses to councils or schools, and explain complex rights in plain English. That means less time Googling and more time connecting with your child.
• Anonymity When You Need It: Many people feel ashamed or judged for asking for help. AI doesn’t judge. It’s a private space where parents can be honest and vulnerable, without fear.

Our Promise

At AskEllie, we believe in ethical AI. That means:

• No data selling. Ever.
• Transparency about how the tool works.
• Constant updates based on real feedback from parents.
• Collaboration with lived-experience communities.

We’re not here to replace human support — we’re here to fill the gaps where support doesn’t exist. Until every family has the help they need, we’ll keep building tools that listen, empower, and advocate.

Because no parent should have to face this alone.

If your child has an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP), you may already know how stressful it can be to secure the right school placement—especially when you’re aiming for a specialist provision.

One of the most common roadblocks parents face is being told:
“We can’t offer a place because the school is full.”

It sounds final, doesn’t it? But here’s what the local authority doesn’t always explain:

The Law Is Clear

Under the Children and Families Act 2014, if a school is named in your child’s EHCP (Section I), that school is legally required to admit your child, even if it’s full.

A local authority cannot refuse your preferred school just because it’s full. They can only refuse if they can clearly show that:

1. The school is unsuitable for your child’s age, ability, aptitude or special educational needs;
2. The placement would negatively impact the education of other children;
3. It would not be an efficient use of public resources.

Simply saying a school is “at capacity” doesn’t meet these criteria.

Why Do They Say It Then?

The reality is that some local authorities use the “full” excuse to:

• Delay making a decision
• Push your child toward a cheaper or more convenient option
• Avoid expanding specialist provision or providing additional support

What Should You Do?

If you’ve been told your chosen school is full:

• Request the school be named in Section I of the EHCP anyway. You have the right to ask for it.
• If refused, appeal to the SEND Tribunal. Over 95% of appeals by parents are successful.
• Ask the school directly if they believe they could meet your child’s needs—sometimes they’re more open than the LA.

Need Help?

If you’re unsure how to word your request or respond to the LA, our free tool AskEllie can help you draft emails, letters, and even appeal submissions based on UK SEND law.
Visit www.askellie.co.uk to get started.

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Don’t let “we’re full” be the end of the road.
If the school is right for your child, you’re within your rights to pursue it—and win.

For many parents of autistic children, navigating sensory challenges can feel like a daily rollercoaster. From bright lights to noisy classrooms, the world can be overwhelming. And when too much becomes way too much, meltdowns often follow. But the more we understand sensory overload, the better we can support our children.

What Is Sensory Overload?

Sensory overload happens when one or more of the body’s senses become overstimulated. This could be from:

• Loud noises
• Crowded spaces
• Bright or flickering lights
• Uncomfortable clothing
• Strong smells or tastes

To a neurotypical person, these things may seem minor. But to a child with autism, they can feel completely overpowering and inescapable.

Signs of Sensory Overload

Every child is different, but some common signs include:

• Covering ears or eyes
• Repetitive movements (rocking, flapping)
• Refusing to enter certain environments
• Increased anxiety or aggression
• Complete emotional shutdown or a full-blown meltdown

Understanding Meltdowns

Meltdowns are not tantrums. They are not about “getting their way.” They are a child’s intense response to overwhelm and distress. During a meltdown, your child may scream, cry, lash out, or withdraw completely. They are not in control of these reactions—and they need support, not punishment.

How Can You Help?

1. Know the Triggers Keep a diary of when and where meltdowns happen. Patterns may emerge that help you identify sensory triggers.
2. Create a Calm Space Designate a sensory-friendly area at home or school with soft lighting, calming textures, noise-cancelling headphones, or weighted blankets.
3. Use Visuals and Warnings Give your child a heads-up before transitions or changes in routine. Visual schedules can help reduce anxiety.
4. Offer Sensory Tools Fidget toys, chewable jewellery, or noise-reducing ear defenders can help regulate input.
5. Stay Calm and Reassuring When a meltdown does happen, your calm presence is powerful. Avoid punishment. Instead, provide safety, understanding, and comfort.

And Remember…

You’re not alone. Supporting a child with sensory processing differences is challenging, but you are doing your best. AskEllie was built by parents just like you. We understand the chaos, the worry, the love, and the exhaustion.

If you’re unsure what support your child is entitled to in school or through a formal diagnosis, AskEllie can help.

🔗 www.askellie.co.uk

You’re doing an amazing job. One step at a time.

f you’re a parent of a child with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), you may already know the crushing experience of being told “no” by school after school. But what happens when every school in your area says they can’t meet your child’s needs? Sadly, this is becoming a common and devastating reality for families across the UK.

The Problem: Families are being left in limbo. Children are out of school for months—sometimes years—while local authorities scramble to find a setting that will accept them. Even with an EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plan) in place, some schools refuse on the grounds of being unable to meet need, citing budget constraints, staffing shortages, or space issues.

Parents are told to wait. To be patient. But time drags on, and the child’s mental health, academic progress, and sense of self-worth deteriorate.

The Legal Bit: Under Section 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014, local authorities have a legal duty to secure the special educational provision specified in Section F of an EHCP. If no local schools will take the child, the local authority must look further afield, including independent and out-of-area placements.

Refusal by schools does not remove the LA’s obligation.

What Parents Can Do:

1. Request a full list of schools approached and their reasons for refusal. This should be documented.
2. Challenge the LA. If they claim no school will accept your child, ask what action they’re taking to resolve this.
3. Appeal the named placement. If your final EHCP names a school that refuses to take your child, you have the right to appeal to SENDIST.
4. Use AskEllie. Our free legal chatbot can help you understand your rights and draft formal communications to the local authority.

Why This Matters: Leaving children out of education has long-term consequences. They lose learning, friendships, and trust in the system. For parents, it’s a relentless battle that feels isolating and never-ending.

And it’s not rare. AskEllie has spoken to hundreds of parents across the UK who are in the exact same position.

Final Thoughts: This isn’t just a bureaucratic issue. It’s a crisis. No child should be left without education. No family should have to chase 15 schools and hear 15 rejections. Until there’s real reform, we must keep sharing our stories, raising awareness, and helping each other push back.

You’re not alone. And Ellie is here to help.

Need help getting your child into school? Visit www.askellie.co.uk and let us support you today.

Over the past decade, we’ve seen an alarming rise in the number of people in the UK relying on welfare benefits—particularly among young adults with emotional and behavioural needs. Politicians and headlines call it a “welfare crisis.” But what if this crisis didn’t start in the DWP… what if it began in our schools?

The government has claimed that the increase in disability benefit claims is unsustainable, and that reform is needed. One of the most cited reasons is the growing number of young people needing support for anxiety, autism, and other neurodivergent profiles. But here’s the thing: this trend isn’t mirrored in other similar nations.

So what’s going wrong in the UK?

Let’s go back to 2010. A five-year-old child back then would be 19 or 20 today—the exact age group now dominating the spike in benefit claims. But what else happened in 2010? Austerity. Cuts to schools. Cuts to social care. Cuts to early intervention services. It’s no coincidence.

SEND Crisis, Lifelong Impact

We’ve spent years campaigning for change in the SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities) system. Ask any parent or teacher, and they’ll tell you: the system is buckling. EHCPs take months or years to get. CAMHS is overwhelmed. Mainstream schools are stretched so thin, they can’t support the children who need it most.

So what happens to those children?

Some fall out of education altogether. Some spend their most formative years without the support they need to thrive. And some—despite their resilience and the dedication of their families—arrive at adulthood burnt out, unsupported, and unable to work in traditional environments.

Is it any wonder that benefit claims are rising?

Cutting SEND Will Cost More Later

The government is currently proposing further changes to SEND funding—more hoops, less support, stricter criteria. All in the name of cost-cutting.

But this isn’t just about children. This is about the adults they become. This is about whether we invest in our future now—or pay for our failure later.

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: when we deny children early support, we don’t save money. We shift the cost from the education budget to the welfare budget. And in the process, we hurt families, we lose potential, and we create deeper, longer-term struggles that take far more to fix.

Where Do We Go From Here?

At AskEllie, we hear from parents every day who are fighting for their children’s right to an education. We also hear from young people who’ve been failed by the system and are now facing mental health crises, unemployment, and isolation.

We believe that every child deserves support when they need it—not when it’s too late.

The SEND crisis and the welfare crisis are not two separate issues. They are deeply connected. And unless we treat the root causes—starting in the classroom, not the job centre—we’ll continue to see both spiralling.

It’s time to stop blaming parents. Stop blaming young people. And start fixing the broken system.

We need better funding, faster support, and a government that listens to families instead of punishing them.

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a profile of autism that is increasingly recognised by families, educators, and professionals alike, yet it still remains widely misunderstood and often overlooked in the diagnostic process. In this blog post, we explore the common signs of PDA autism, why it can be so hard to get a formal diagnosis, and the best ways you can support your child emotionally and mentally.

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What is PDA?

PDA is a subtype of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) characterised by an extreme avoidance of everyday demands and a need to feel in control. Children with PDA often experience high anxiety, which fuels their avoidance and can lead to intense, explosive reactions when they feel overwhelmed.

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Key Signs of PDA Autism to Look Out For:

• Avoidance of everyday demands: This could be anything from brushing teeth, getting dressed, or completing schoolwork. Children with PDA often use distraction, excuses, negotiation, or even physical refusal.
• Seeming socially confident but with difficulty in real social relationships: They may appear chatty and sociable, but struggle with deeper connections and social rules.
• Intense need for control: Children may become extremely distressed if things don’t go their way, or if they feel powerless.
• Rapid mood changes and impulsive behaviour: Emotional regulation can be difficult, leading to sudden outbursts or shutdowns.
• Obsessive behaviour: Often related to people or interests, this can be a way of maintaining control and managing anxiety.
• Sensory sensitivities: Common in many autistic children, but particularly heightened when anxiety is involved.

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Why You Can’t Always Get a Full PDA Diagnosis

Although PDA is increasingly acknowledged, it is not currently a formally recognised standalone diagnosis in the DSM-5 or ICD-10 diagnostic manuals. This means many clinicians do not use “PDA” as a label in official reports. Instead, children are often diagnosed with ASD and the PDA profile is mentioned within the descriptive notes – if at all.

This leads to frustration for families, as many professionals (especially within the NHS or educational settings) may not fully understand PDA or recognise how it differs from typical presentations of autism.

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How to Best Support a Child with a PDA Profile

1. Adopt a low-demand approach: Remove unnecessary demands where possible. This doesn’t mean no structure, but rather being flexible, offering choices, and reducing pressure.
2. Use indirect language: Avoid direct commands. Try, “I wonder if we could…” or “Shall we try together?” instead of “You need to do this now.”
3. Build trust and safety: Relationships are everything. Your child needs to feel safe and respected before they will be able to engage.
4. Avoid power struggles: Don’t escalate the situation. Step back and give your child space to regulate.
5. Plan ahead for transitions: Use visual schedules, countdowns, and prepare for change gradually.
6. Focus on emotional support before behaviour: Meltdowns are usually a sign of distress, not defiance. Validate their emotions before addressing the behaviour.
7. Advocate in school: Many mainstream schools do not understand PDA. You may need to request reasonable adjustments or apply for an EHCP to get tailored support.

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Final Thoughts

Supporting a child with PDA can be emotionally exhausting, but understanding the root of their behaviours makes a huge difference. These children are not being naughty or manipulative – they are trying to survive in a world that feels overwhelming.

If you need guidance on navigating school, EHCPs, or legal support, AskEllie.co.uk is a free tool that helps parents like you get clear, instant answers tailored to UK law and processes.

You’re not alone – and with the right support, things can get better.

Getting an autism diagnosis for your child in 2025 can feel like navigating a broken system. For many families in the UK, it has become a waiting game of months—or even years—just to access the right support. And during that time, children are left without the understanding, interventions, and educational help they desperately need.

The Numbers Behind the Crisis

As of late 2024, over 212,000 people in England were on the NHS autism assessment waiting list. That’s a 23% increase in just one year and a staggering 82% increase since 2022. These figures are not just statistics—they represent children and families stuck in limbo.

The Children’s Commissioner reported that some children are now waiting more than four years for a diagnosis. For those referred through community paediatrics or CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), two-year wait times are becoming the norm. This is not only unacceptable—it’s harmful.

What This Means for Families

A delayed diagnosis doesn’t just delay a label. It delays everything that comes with it:

• Access to EHCPs (Education, Health and Care Plans)
• Understanding from teachers and schools
• Appropriate educational provision or alternative provision
• Access to therapies such as speech and language, OT, or mental health support

Children who mask their struggles at school are especially vulnerable, as their needs often go unseen until they reach breaking point. Meanwhile, parents are left trying to prove that something is wrong while managing meltdowns, exclusions, and emotional exhaustion.

Why the System Is Struggling

The national autism strategy, introduced in 2021, set out a vision for change. It aimed to improve:

• Early identification
• Diagnostic capacity
• Integration across education, health, and social care

But despite these aims, the system is overwhelmed. Referrals have skyrocketed, while staffing and funding haven’t kept pace. And while the NHS has targets in place (assessments within 13 weeks), only 1 in 10 children are being seen within that window.

What Can You Do If You’re Waiting?

If you’re stuck in the waiting game, here are some practical steps:

1. Apply for an EHCP Anyway

You do not need a formal diagnosis to start the EHCP process. If your child has clear needs that affect their education, you can apply now. Visit AskEllie.co.uk for step-by-step guidance.

2. Gather Evidence

Start keeping a diary of behaviours, school struggles, and medical visits. This builds a timeline and helps professionals understand what you’re dealing with.

3. Speak to School SENCOs

Even without a diagnosis, schools can and should offer SEN support. That could include a key worker, reduced timetable, sensory breaks, or access to a nurture space.

4. Seek Support from Charities

• National Autistic Society
• Autism Central
• Contact (for families of disabled children)

These organisations offer guidance, helplines, workshops, and community support.

5. Push for Interim Support

While waiting, ask your GP or local services for early help, referrals to OT or SLT (speech and language therapy), or CAMHS support for emotional wellbeing.

Final Thoughts

A diagnosis is not a magic wand, but it can open doors. The sad reality is that in 2025, many of those doors are still locked behind long waiting lists and broken systems.

That’s why projects like AskEllie.co.uk were created—to support parents through the gaps. We help you understand your rights, draft EHCP requests, navigate DLA or PIP forms, and challenge unfair decisions. Because while the system may be failing, you don’t have to face it alone.

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If you’re a parent waiting on an autism diagnosis and unsure what to do next, visit www.askellie.co.uk for free legal guidance, templates, and real help.

Sometimes it’s hard to know if the work you’re doing is making a difference—especially when you’re fighting day in and day out for your children in a system that feels broken. But every once in a while, something powerful happens that reminds us we’re being heard.

This week, we received a letter from Helen Hayes MP, Chair of the Education Select Committee, in response to our efforts to raise awareness of the SEND crisis and the role AskEllie is playing in supporting families.

While Helen is unable to meet due to her demanding Parliamentary schedule, she took the time to write personally, thanking us for highlighting the struggles that families of children with SEND face and recognising the work that AskEllie is doing to increase access to justice.

She also encouraged us to submit written evidence for future inquiries, following their recent investigation into the SEND crisis. This is a real opportunity to ensure parent voices—and the lived reality of families—are included in shaping policy.

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Why This Matters

For families like ours, this letter is more than words on a page. It’s a sign that our voices are being taken seriously in Parliament. It’s recognition that what we are doing with AskEllie—empowering parents with legal advice, support, and clarity—is vital.

This is the same system that left us waiting years for support, battling for EHCPs, and left our children without schools or the help they needed. We built AskEllie to help other parents survive what we went through.

Now, we have the attention of decision-makers. That means change is possible.

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What You Can Do

We want to take this even further—and we want your voice to be part of it:

• If you have a story to share, submit it to us via www.askellie.co.uk
• If you’re struggling with EHCP delays, school refusals, or legal jargon—use Ellie to get instant advice, anytime.
• If you’re as frustrated as we are, keep raising your voice. Join our Facebook community, share your experience, and let’s make noise together.

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This letter is just one step. But it’s proof that steps are being taken. And with enough pressure, we can push this system to finally work for our children, not against them.

Thank you to everyone who’s supported us. This win is yours too.

Stay strong, and keep going.

Oliver & Rebecca www.askellie.co.uk