If your child is struggling to attend school, you’re not alone. A growing number of families are facing what’s known as EBSA — Emotionally Based School Avoidance — and it’s often misunderstood. Many parents are being blamed or threatened with fines, even when their children are experiencing real mental health distress.
What Is EBSA?
Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA) refers to children and young people who find it extremely difficult to attend school due to emotional distress. It’s not defiance. It’s not bad parenting. It’s a sign of burnout, anxiety, unmet needs, or masking all day just to survive.
Signs to Look Out For:
- Panic or meltdowns before school
- Physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches
- Refusal to get dressed or leave the house
- Shutdowns or violent outbursts
- Extreme fatigue after school or weekends
Why It Happens:
- Undiagnosed or unsupported SEND (e.g., autism, ADHD, PDA)
- Sensory overwhelm
- Lack of reasonable adjustments
- Bullying or trauma
- Pressure to perform and mask
What Parents Can Do:
- Document Everything: Keep a log of school difficulties, symptoms, and communications.
- Request an EHCP Assessment: You do NOT need a diagnosis to apply.
- Push for a Needs-Based Approach: The school must make reasonable adjustments — diagnosis or not.
- Get Medical Evidence: Ask your GP for a letter to support attendance challenges.
- Contact Your LA: If no suitable education is being provided, request Alternative Provision (AP).
- Know Your Rights: You cannot be fined if your child is too ill (emotionally or physically) to attend.
You’re Not Alone.
Thousands of families across the UK are fighting this same battle. That’s why we built AskEllie — a free, AI-powered tool designed to help parents of SEND children know their rights, write letters, and get the support their children deserve.
🔗 Visit www.askellie.co.uk to start getting answers, support, and the power to push back.
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